Team Building

Recently I went on a company “Team Building Activity” to one of the local theatres to watch a flick. First there was a lunch of Pizza and those little cups of ice cream like the kind you got when you were in Primary School, except without the little wooden spoons tucked in the lid. Of course we had to pay for the whole excursion ourselves which was a bit of an annoyance to me since I only make a measly ten bucks an hour as a contractor. The Employees, or “White Badges” all make at least twice that so it’s no problem for them, but us “Yellow Badges” are pretty much broke the second the cheque goes in the bank. . . Anyway, I could ill afford the expense but had little choice in the matter as all “Team Building Activities” are strictly MANDATORY.

The event was to begin at noon in a roped off section of the huge cafeteria. The plan, according to my most direct manager (I have no less than FIVE) was to have two pizzas per eight person table. One was to be something with meat, one a vegetarian alternative. When I arrived at 12:01 there was already almost nowhere left to sit, as several “cliques” (a big group of Chinese men and women, a big group of east Indian ladies, a group of Black guys that I ended up sitting with, and a group of fat chicks) had obviously knocked off early and packed the joint.

The Chinese group had pushed two tables together and was already eating when I arrived. I squeezed in at my table which had nothing but two crumby vegan pizzas at it while upon closer observation, the Chinese clique had FIVE gooey, meaty pizzas at their table. This led me to believe they must have arrived earliest and looted at least three tables of their decent pies, replacing them in turn with the lousy vegetarian selections we were stuck with.

Near the end of lunch there seemed to be an awful lot of the good meaty stuff left at the table of the Chinese clique, but they weren’t letting anyone near it. It was like Thunderdome in there. In fact, some of the ladies were stuffing the remaining slices into GIANT Ziploc bags they had brought with them for the occasion. They stuffed the extra food into their purses and back packs and woe be to he who dared to ask for a slice of the good stuff.

After the pizza, the manager’s broke out the bags of little ice cream cups. I chose a vanilla flavoured one and ate it with a plastic spoon because the little wooden paddles are a thing of the past.

The movie I saw was National Treasure, an annoying piece of predictable tripe that even its cast of thousands couldn’t save. Ah well, at the end of the day, did I feel like a better team member because of the lunch and the outing? I don’t think so, but it was nice to get out of work for three hours.